Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kitten Poker
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Kristine Sutherland, Actress: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Kristine Sutherland's first love was theater. She went to an audition in high school as moral support for a friend but ended up auditioning herself. She worked as an actress on stage through the 80s, landing a few pilot roles as well as her small secretary part in Legal Eagles (1986) and her big-screen debut in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all associated characters are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, United Paramount Network, and Fox Television. This work is not for profit, and no ownership of aforementioned copyrighted material implied, nor any infringement intended.
“I won the bet, which means I get to pick the game, and we’re playing strip poker.” Faith stared him down. “What? You’ve got something to be ashamed of?”
Xander sighed, knowing that he was caught. Faith had been right; it had taken Spike and Buffy all of five minutes to get over being mad and go straight to the sex. Xander had bet on fifteen, thinking that Buffy would surely pop him in the nose at least once for not calling.
Now, he and Faith were stuck in the house together, waiting for Giles’ arrival. The head Watcher was flying in from England, and someone had to be there for him. They’d drawn the short straw, and they had to do something while they were waiting.
“All right. I’ll grab the deck of cards.” Xander found a spare deck in the junk drawer and started shuffling. “How are we doing this?”
“You’ve never played poker before?”
“I’ve never played strip poker,” he corrected her.
She shrugged. “Instead of chips, you bet clothes. If you’re naked, you lose.”
He began to deal. “I know I’m going to regret this,” Xander muttered.
Faith looked over her hand. “So, why’d you come to Cleveland?”
“The apocalypse, what else?”
“Figured you’d stay in Africa.”
“Buffy said a reunion would be nice.” He looked around the living room of the Cleveland headquarters. “Where’s Wood? I haven’t seen him the last couple of days.”
She stared at her cards. “What are you betting?”
“My right shoe,” he replied, “and you didn’t answer my question.”
She smirked at him. “Coward.”
“No, just cautious. You?”
Faith’s expression was daring. “My bra.”
His eyes went wide. “Don’t you have to bet your shirt first?”
“Not if you do it right.”
Xander almost choked, beginning to feel a little warm. “Yeah, okay.”
“He left,” she replied as she discarded two of her cards.
He got rid of one and quickly dealt three. “Any reason?”
“I wasn’t the Slayer he wanted.”
He was surprised to find himself sympathetic. “Yeah. I could see he had that whole ‘mommy complex’ going for him.”
Faith frowned. “What?”
“His mom was a Slayer, right?” Xander pointed out. “He was sniffing around Buffy for a while, and then you. He was trying for a replacement mother.”
She snorted. “I’m no one’s mother.”
“That’s his problem, not yours.”
Her eyes took on a new respect for him. “Yeah, I guess it is.” She laid her cards down, revealing a flush. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
He looked from her cards to his own, then began unlacing his shoe. “This is going to be a long night.”
~~~~~
Faith’s eyes went wide as Xander pulled his t-shirt off over his head. He’d lost some weight, and it was clear that he’d been working a lot more than he’d been eating.
He tossed his shirt to the side. “See something you like?”
She met his good eye. “Maybe.”
He flushed, then began reshuffling the deck. “What’s it going to be this time?”
“My shirt.” Faith had already lost her bra, and she could have bet her pants, but she’d never been one to play it safe. Besides, if Xander was distracted, all the better. “You?”
“Pants.”
She took the cards he dealt. “Does it bother you?”
“What?”
“That.” She pointed at his eye patch.
He touched it self-consciously. “Nah. Chicks dig it.”
“Only if you’ve got a story to go with it,” Faith responded. “What do you tell them?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You make something up, right?” she asked. “It’s not like you can tell them that some crazy ex-priest possessed by the First Evil poked it out.”
His lips quirked. “No, I usually tell them that it was a construction accident.”
“Lame,” she judged. “You’ve got to do better than that if you’re going to get laid.” At the expression on his face, she sat back. “You have been laid sometime in the recent past, right?”
He pulled out three cards and put them down. “Of course.”
“No, you haven’t,” she accused, getting rid of two cards. “How long has it been?”
“None of your business,” Xander snapped.
Faith raised her eyebrows. “Oooh, temper.”
“Shut up.”
She suddenly remembered something Buffy had told her, after the Hellmouth had been closed, about Xander grieving. “Not since Anya, huh?”
Instead of replying, he dealt the cards.
Faith let the awkward silence hang, thinking that she’d probably crossed a line. Not that she cared, but she felt the need to say something. “You could always tell the girls you got gored by a wild boar or something.”
“They’d never believe it,” he replied. “I prefer telling them that I got knifed by a mugger while saving a friend’s life.”
“Not bad,” Faith admitted. “What about getting attacked by a rabid gopher?”
A reluctant smile formed. “We don’t have gophers in Africa.”
“Never been there.”
“Would you want to go?”
“What would I do in Africa?” she asked.
“Same thing you’re doing here,” he replied. “There’s plenty of evil in Africa to fight.”
“Are you going back?”
“Yeah, eventually.” He smiled crookedly. “It’s nice to have hot water for a while.” Xander put his cards down. “Full house.”
Faith looked at her flush and smiled ruefully. She put her cards down and pulled her shirt over her head—slowly. When she tossed her shirt aside, his jaw was slack. “Like what you see?”
She could hear him swallow. “Uh…”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Faith would never find out what he would have said, because Angel and Giles entered the house, arguing.
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“I wasn’t evil!” Angel protested.
“It was an evil law firm,” Giles shot back. “What was I—” He stopped, staring at Faith.
“Faith?” Angel choked out.
She smiled, not bothering to reach for her shirt. “Hey, Angel.”
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Giles quickly averted his eyes. “What is going on here?”
“We’re playing strip poker,” Faith replied, feeling as though the answer to that question should have been obvious. She rose from her position on the floor. “Looks like it’s a tie, Xander.”
Xander scrambled to his feet. “I guess so.”
“Come on,” Faith seized his arm. “I think it’s time to get you back on the horse.”
Much like the first time, Xander didn’t offer a protest, although Faith had a feeling that the strip poker had softened him up considerably…so to speak.
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It was time they both moved on.